trying to grok

You know my offers are w/out expiration date so even when we're old and in rocking chairs & you need someone's larynx punched, just lean over and tell me & I'm on it.

After this weekend, though, I know that I have so many 'alternative' methods of destruction...elbows, knees, feet...Ha-Ha!!

In my experience, it's always those who have it "easy" who judge those of us who have to work at being parents. Sad to say, but we spent much of our lives avoiding the "whoopsies." When I turned 30 and wanted a baby vs. telling my 15 yr. old to not have one. Selfish me.

I'm proud of your grace. I would have probably handled it the same way because, for some asinine reason, I tend to not try and offend people I'm talking to, especially about sensitive issues.

Bitches.

I can't believe someone (two people!) actually said something so rude. Ugh. Some people deserve to be slapped. They don't know how lucky they are, both with their "whoopsies", and also that people like you (and me too) are too polite to give them the verbal backlash that they deserve for being so inconsiderate. Ugh.

It's often said that people who are insulting online would never say such horrible things in person. Even if that were generally true, sadly there is no shortage of people who can be cruel in real life. Who did these vicious women think they were? I would have lost it if I were you.

People never cease to amaze me.

They amaze us in good ways as well. I admire your ability to keep your cool when confronted with idiocy. And I am moved, both by the positive reaction from your audience and by the very real loyalty of your "imaginary" friends.

I just found an online translation of the Dhammapada. Here's a word-for-word analysis of the passage you referred to.

I was relieved to see that the original starts with Manopubbaṅgammā dhammā (mind-before-going [is] mental-phenomena) because I don't think that "All that we are is determined by our thoughts." "All that we think is determined by our thoughts" (my loose translation) is still too tautological for my taste, but closer to the truth. I used to believe in mind over matter (i.e., that one can be whatever one wants to be), but over the years I've come to recognize the importance of nature and nurture. Nonetheless, it is true that we determine what is in our minds, even if we can't determine "[a]ll that we are". We may not be able to control external stimuli, but we can choose to ignore some things and fixate on others to our detriment. Hence we often make ourselves suffer, and in such cases, only we can set ourselves free.

I totally would've wanted to take Guard Wife up on her offer and then, while the "ladies" were gasping and recovering on the floor, advised them to "just be patient - you'll be able to breathe soon enough."

But in reality, yeah, I would've done the same, non-confrontational thing... they're just so obviously not at that point where they have developed empathy yet.

I'm glad that you know you were able to help others, though! :-) Sharing really does strengthen us all...

I would pay to watch a martial arts movie in which Guard Wife lives up to her name. Imagine GW giving those two a paralyzing touch.

"just be patient - you'll be able to breathe soon enough."

Great line, kannie.

they're just so obviously not at that point where they have developed empathy yet.

The sad thing is ... they may never develop empathy.

But Sarah won't let that get her down. She won't let the likes of them mess up her mind.

That's just . . . mean! Argh.

You did not overreact. People who feel they must tell you how to live your life are people who really ought to look at their own.

Some of us have to WORK at fertility. Thankfully, we did not have the trouble you guys have had, but we had miscarriages and setbacks, too, and Ian is our little blessing from God.

I'm glad you shared your story. Even though a couple people felt the need to judge your actions, more people were comforted by your positive attitude, optimism, and ability to relate.

You are in my prayers!

You took the high ground on that one. Very classy, but, those of us who have come to know you a little through your blog would expect nothing else. You are a classy lady and gentle.

Having said that, guard wife, there were two of 'em. I got your back girl, let me know when and where.

if i may be so bold as to add yet another of my brilliant words of wisdom (haha), when i told my boss that i had just returned to work from the doctor's office and that i learned that i had lost one of my twins, her response was, "oh, you must be so relieved!". I'll never forget it. someday i can share jim ross's theory of stupidity (or stupid people say the stupidest things), but suffice it to say, you are right: you can't control what other people do, only how you react. must be those good midwestern values that your wonderful mama and dad taught you :)

Some people are just mind-numbingly inconsiderate... Those two seem to have never learned the lesson: "if you can't say something nice, say nothing at all...".

It's easy for them to say you are just impatient. Some women are just lucky that way. Others, not so much. I can't speak from experience, since I've not been in a position to try to get pregnant (and I know I'm not getting any younger...). I can only imagine what it's like to be trying, and not being successful. I think it's very brave of you to share, and I think more women were helped by what you have to say, than there were women who felt like those two uncouth women (I refuse to call them "ladies"...).

Some people should not be allowed to interact with others. The very hardest parts of my deployment were during the miscarriage over Thanksgiving, before I'd even left for Afghanistan. We have another couple in our church who have been trying for a few years now; they had a miscarriage the weekend I was supposed to meet them, right after I returned from OEF. At the same time, our church experienced a rash of new pregnancies, several of them unintentional, by women little more than children themselves. It was very hard not to resent those.

It may not be easy to understand someone else's emotional pain, but I try never to belittle it. Just because I can't understand something doesn't mean I can't believe it is real.

Oh Sarah :( I'm so sorry. I personally believe that God has a special punishment reserved for those who not only dismiss someone else's suffering but inflict more pain. You did the right thing, not the easy thing, but the classy, mature thing.

how ridiculous. You are far better than I and the verbs that would've snuck out when my mouth filter turned off!

I don't have to hear/read the whole history to appreciate your voice. I've lived something similar, and it takes courage to speak about something so personal, and even more courage to not choke the living you-know-what out of someone so blatantly disrespectful. Not all of us have things handed to us.