March 21, 2009


During the last miscarriage, my heart was destroyed. I told my mother that the only way I could get through it was to completely shut off my emotions and treat the whole thing like one big science project. Thus I took detailed notes about what was happening to me and timecoded every dose of medicine and every symptom.

In hindsight, I am so glad I did that. Whoda thunk I'd need to consult those notes again?

I pulled the journal out yesterday morning and reread the event. I realized I had forgotten how much it hurt. I also had condensed the timeline in my head: I thought the medicine took effect in like an hour, but my notes say it took five hours. Good thing I didn't have to rely on my faulty memory.

The process went OK yesterday. This pregnancy was not as advanced as the last one, so there's less to expel. Still, I am pretty certain that we're not completely done, so I took another dose of cytotec this morning.

My husband, meanwhile, has required attendance this morning at the Multiculturalism Readiness Fair. Good old Army and their mandatory nonsense. Of all the Saturdays...

I am doing well. The percocet makes me goofy though. One minute I can be smiley and joking like a drunk person, and then I crash into pain. It's bizarre. I can't believe some people like the way that feels and take this junk on purpose.

Posted by Sarah at March 21, 2009 08:22 AM | TrackBack

I'm a compulsive note-taker. It seems useless most of the time until moments like this. I've solved a lot of computer problems by checking my diary. Of course, your situation is far more serious. Perhaps others can learn from your example.

Your husband should be teaching at that fair, assuming such a thing has to exist in the first place. Tolerance and appreciation for diversity take time; they can't be force-fed in a day.

As for the ups and downs of percocet, I'm not surprised "some people like the way it feels". The Internet has taught me that people are capable of anything.

Posted by: Amritas at March 21, 2009 10:50 AM

Amritas -- I hope others might indeed learn from my experience. It would be my advice to anyone who has a miscarriage to document everything, just in case.

Posted by: Sarah at March 21, 2009 11:11 AM