trying to grok: UPDATE

February 26, 2009

UPDATE

I figured I should give you a small update re: baby.

So here's the deal: You take women who are extremely freaked out about miscarriage and you give them a medicine which prevents miscarriage but which also has the absurd side effect of irritating your cervix and making you bleed.

(I'm reminded of the scene in Futurama when Fry says he can't swallow a pill that size, and the professor says "Well then good news!" because you don't swallow it. Ahem. Oh, and they're refrigerated.)

So basically now it's just a waiting game until I go for my ultrasound in two weeks. I won't know anything until then, but even then I won't feel great: the last time, you'll remember, we managed to become one of the 5% of people whose baby has a heartbeat and then subsequently dies.

I may be a while before I feel confident. Please don't try to convince me I should get that way right now. I won't breathe easily until I make it to a milestone that I haven't reached in the past. Like seeing a doctor. I've never even done that yet.

So we wait it out.

Posted by Sarah at February 26, 2009 07:59 AM | TrackBack

Comments

My heart goes out to you. I have some idea of what your feeling. I had a miscarriage a few months ago and even though I'm now 13 wks pregnant I feel like I cant exhale yet. The fear of losing again, feeling that pain, that emptyness, is a powerful one. Hang in there and my prayers are with you.

Posted by: the mrs. at February 26, 2009 08:18 AM

*hugs* Thanks for the update, Sarah. I will be thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers.

Posted by: Leofwende at February 26, 2009 08:47 AM

Thank you for the update. Glad you are plugging along and wishing you all the best.
I am surprised your clinic is making you wait two weeks. That was not my experience and seriously I am mad at them for doing that.

Posted by: wifeunit at February 26, 2009 08:58 AM

You have me, my dad, my sister, and all the girls on my wing praying for you, even though they have no idea who you are. Plus whoever else happened to get the word.

Posted by: TW at February 26, 2009 09:04 AM

"because you don't swallow it"

So...it's like what Pres. Obama is doing to us.

Posted by: tim at February 26, 2009 09:06 AM

Thinking of you sarah, esp over the next few week while your husband is away and you wait. Saying a prayer.

Posted by: keri at February 26, 2009 09:24 AM

Hang in there Sarah - I know it's easier said then done. You and Russ are in my prayers. And so is Charlie for him to stay in the yard! :)

Posted by: BigD78 at February 26, 2009 10:15 AM

That is the WORST side effect I've ever heard!

I didn't realize that was a side effect. I thought it was ... something worse. I actually feel a bit relieved now.

That doesn't mean I feel confident. I am used to admitting I just don't know. And I can't forget what Leofwende said: "there is no point that is truly 'safe'".

Posted by: Amritas at February 26, 2009 11:11 AM

Just wanted to let you know that I've been thinking about you.

Posted by: dutchgirl at February 26, 2009 11:24 AM

I guess you could say I'm relieved your cervix is irritated.

And I will continue to keep the fingers I can cross, crossed.

Carren and I are thinking about you.
Also, I've a sure-fire way to keep the dog in the yard, but it may be more work than you're willing to do...

Posted by: Chuck at February 26, 2009 12:07 PM

Oh, yeah, that's a HORRID "side effect" ...

I promise you won't hear any "be confident!!!" advice from me, but lots of hugs & hope are continuing your way! :-)

Posted by: kannie at February 26, 2009 12:54 PM

I'm waiting along with you... and ever since you said you were pregnant, I've been having trouble breathing, too. *hugs*

Posted by: FbL at February 26, 2009 02:51 PM

Hugs and you are in my prayers.

Posted by: Reasa at February 26, 2009 07:22 PM

Taking your earlier advice and not saying anything at all because it would all be wrong.

But we are here.

Sig

Posted by: Sig at February 26, 2009 11:36 PM

I really hope things work out this time. Girl, I would understand if you didn't feel comfortable until Baby was in your arms! You've gone through a lot. I'm holding my breathe with you.

Posted by: Sara at February 27, 2009 09:20 AM

Hang in there, thoughts and prayers are with you.

Posted by: Pamela at February 27, 2009 11:10 AM

Im' soorry you are having a rough time. We didn't tell a soul until our son hit 12 weeks. Looks like a good group of people are waiting with you though.

HH6

Posted by: Household6 at February 28, 2009 05:45 PM