I debated whether I should post that thing on sleep the other day. It seemed unnecessary to cash that chip on the blog. It also made us look like we had problems, and I never like to give that impression.
But if you asked me if we had any reintegration issues in 2005, I would've said that we didn't. A trip back through those archives reveals that we did indeed have a rough patch or two. If I hadn't documented them on the blog, I would've forgotten those tough days and said that we had no problems whatsoever. I wanted to document this issue too.
This reintegration, it is a tricky thing, even for solid couples. My husband is truly my best friend. We like the same movies, the same music, the same foods, the same TV. We're both stingy, both homebodies, and both love Krauthammer. I wanted to show that reintegration is hard even for couples who get along swimmingly. It's an adjustment. I wanted to document that, because to pretend like we weren't frustrated with each other was to lie, in a sense.
He's been home a week now, and we're doing much better. No more grumpiness. He's staying up a little later to be with me and I'm not asking him to stay up as long as I'd like to. We're meeting halfway and doing fine. I want to document that too, to keep a record of when we got back on track.
MORE TO GROK:
More thoughts at SpouseBUZZ.
Posted by Sarah at December 27, 2008 10:27 AM | TrackBackWe have very similar sleep concerns. She is a late night person; I am (of necessity) an early morning person. When I came back in early '07, the main issue I remember was the dog, who hated strangers and men--I was both. Aside from that, she wanted to go out and do stuff and meet people and show me around, and I just wanted to stay home, sleep, and do nothing for a while. I didn't even want to play video games.
I got better.
As a matter of fact, I'm going to do that now.
Thank you for these posts.
Sig
Posted by: Sig at December 27, 2008 12:19 PM"have a rough patch or two"
Sweetie, ya'll are human. It's the rough patches that make the rest so good.
Posted by: Pamela at December 27, 2008 02:57 PMOur second reintegration was tough also. It takes time and no one is perfect. The beauty lies in being able to recognize the tough stuff and loving each other enough to work through it all.
I think, over time, we tend to look at homecomings and reunions through rose colored glasses. I know I look back at our last homecoming and I tend to gloss over the adjustments that were necessary.
I'm curious to see how this next one goes. I am doing my best to keep myself from getting cocky - assuming that because the last one went so well that the next one will too.
MacGyver and I were just talking about this last night. I explained to him the snowflake analogy and he liked that. Said he hadn't thought about it and that it gave him some good perspective. I think he's heading into this next deployment expecting it to be similar, in many ways, to the last. I worry that it will not and that his dashed expectations might be a tough thing to deal with - for him and for me.
Thanks for sharing this - it helps to see how even solid relationships deal with reintegration and readjustment and that no one is immune from their effects. I'm glad things have smoothed out for you!!
Posted by: HomefrontSix at December 28, 2008 07:37 PM