trying to grok

BRING ON THE HAVERING

Talked to my manager at work; she was completely understanding. Another girl offered to come in early and work my event (I was only scheduled for two hours in the morning.) So, whew.

He's supposed to be here in an hour, and I haven't heard anything to the contrary. This may actually happen...

This time around, I don't have any words of wisdom to give. My own thoughts don't seem pertinent right now, but Tim's do:

This is a swing moment for me. By that I mean my reality is swinging from her being gone to her being here. Right now it feels as if neither is entirely accurate. I'm not experiencing a dizzying rush of relief...the big exhale hasn't really happened yet.
[...]
But in these final few moments alone...the last of innumerable moments alone, it occurs to me that these are moments of joyous anticipation. And that is a blessing as well.
[...]
I didn't handle this separation as well as I wish I had. But the perpetually messy house is now clean...and the added pounds are mostly lost. That which has been under my control is reasonably as it was.

My house ain't that clean, but these are words I can relate to.

So, I was wrong. I had to return the movie before my husband got home. And the milk expired too. But presumably he is here, at least in this state by now.

And I suppose I should let myself get happy.

We left our wedding ceremony to that song. I am ready to leave this deployment to it today.

And I think he could've walked 500 miles faster than it took him to travel the Army way.

I bought myself my "surviving deployment" present the other day. Last time it was a stand mixer; this time I bought a two time-zone watch...thinking ahead to the next deployment, for there will be another. And we will survive that one too.

Watch out, husband: I am gonna haver my head off tonight.

Posted by Sarah at December 19, 2008 03:57 PM | TrackBack