Last night my husband's friend commented appreciatively on my KitchenAid mixer. I told him it was my Surviving Deployment Present to myself. I remember how I had to force myself to get it because I thought it was so frivolous. A present, just for not falling to pieces in one year.
And then I learned that other wives had gotten enormous honkin' diamonds and Saabs.
Until today, I had never heard of a "push present," which apparently is a new trend. Husbands are supposed to waste money on wives when they deliver a baby, in addition to the money they waste on ridiculous old Valentine's Day. And I have a feeling that it probably goes down a lot like other people's Surviving Deployment presents did; nothing like blowing a huge wad of cash right when you need it most in life. I would think it was sweet if my husband got something for the baby or a little thing for me. But I sure ain't countin' on it. And I know for a fact that he would not buy expensive jewelery and I wouldn't want him to.
I don't think it's weird to get your spouse a gift; in fact, I've already got something in mind for my husband. But it's not a requirement, for heaven's sake.
My "push present" will probably be an increase in my life insurance policy.
Posted by Sarah at May 13, 2008 07:19 AM | TrackBackYeah...that is kind of weird. I read an article about it where they were asking what moms or moms to be thought about it...and you basically got the same responses you would get about Valentine's Day, anniversaries, etc...the same people who thought a present was necessary then, thought it was a great idea, and others, we ho-hum about it. But I think that flowers or something is nice...not necessary, for sure, but still, I am always touched when my husband buys me flowers, because I know how frivilous he finds them.
By the way, A KitchenAid is the furthest thing from frivilous for me...I am almost insulted....;-)... My father gave me a KitchenAid for Xmas when I was 11. Big gift for a little girl you might say, but I LOVED to cook and bake, and I used that thing...and the same one is still in my parents' kitchen now...my brother and sister-in-law gave me one for a wedding present, and it is one of the most used things in the kitchen. You can give me a kitchen appliance over jewelry any day!
Posted by: CaliValleyGirl at May 13, 2008 09:34 AMI always joke that should I smell smoke in the house, I'm grabbing a kid under each arm & shooing the dogs out the door while Hubs is to grab the Kitchen Aid mixer. :) I LOVE that thing. I bought one for myself after a rather successful garage sale--I decluttered lots of sentimental things and made myself feel better with a new appliance.
I love kitchen gadgets and cookware too. Although, the earrings Hubs and the girls gave me for graduation/Mother's Day are nothing to sneeze at either!
I think there needs to be some recognition on the husband's part at the birth of a child--I've always been fond of the look of abject admiration and amazement at the feat I have just performed before his very eyes, rather than jewelry or the like.
I kind of treated labor & delivery like a competitive sport so just being the WINNER was good enough. :)
Posted by: Guard Wife at May 13, 2008 10:08 AMDon't get me wrong: I love my mixer and use it all the time. It was definitely worth the money. But I thought at the time that it was silly of me to think I deserved a $150 appliance just for living through one year of my life.
Posted by: Sarah at May 13, 2008 10:44 AMActually, I do that often: make a major purchase and then make up a reason for it. I have got my "10 days of marriage" water-cooker...and my Happy 2008 egg cooker...and my Valentine's Day hand-held-vac...2 months celebration of having a dog Nerf bars for my truck (okay, I made that one up just now, I got the Nerf bars, but for no special reason). My husband and I make up a list of larger purchases that we want to make in the future, and it hangs on the fridge, and then we check those things off...it sounds so much better if you make up a reason for it, rather than just go out and buy it...so why not celebrate "surviving a year of your life" with a Kitchen Aid? I think I will add that to my list of purchase excuses!
Posted by: CaliValleyGirl at May 13, 2008 10:54 AMMy sister got a "push" present for the births of her two daughters- diamond studs and a diamond ring.
But what made it kind of cool, and somehow less gaudy... they weren't my sister's to keep; she was to keep them safe for a while. He really bought them for his baby girls to have when they were all grown up.
I think it's sweet. Mom just gets to borrow them for a while.
I personally don't mind push presents, but I'd rather get them for myself than to demand my husband get it for me.
Posted by: Crys at May 13, 2008 12:05 PMI have never heard of a push present before. I have always bought myself deployment presents, though. Last deployment I bought a Dyson. I couldn't live without my KitchenAid. That mixer makes my life so much easier.
Posted by: Tressa at May 13, 2008 05:43 PMI would have taken one after the birth of our son. 10 lbs 1 oz, naturally, two days after he arrived home for R&R, then when Junior was 13 days old, Gunner was gone again. I still couldn't sit. He owes me, lol. Maybe his "snipping" was my present?
Posted by: ABW at May 13, 2008 05:53 PMWow...$150 would be a bargain for Kitchen Aid! Must have been the PX...I miss that place. I've looked into buying one and Target wants around $200 for the smaller one. I think I'll get the Dyson first...I don't know what to think about "push" presents. Having not given birth, I hate to insult the idea...I might think I deserve one someday. :)
Posted by: Nicole at May 13, 2008 06:23 PMSarah...welcome to a Man's World. (Disclaimer - Patti, the sweetest woman on the planet, NEVER expects presents but always makes me feel like I'm the most thoughtful husband ever even when its just a card on an unexpected moment.) By the Man's World comment...can I reintroduce you to "Is Two Months Salary Too Much for the Woman of Your Dreams?" crap they shell out for engagement rings? What is the purpose of this approach. Is it to set expectations? On whose part? I just had a guy tell me he put a "down payment" on the engagement ring. I'm thinkin' "Dude, is she wearing an Audi on her left hand????"
So...am I to feel ashamed I didn't spend zwei monaten's salary on Patti's ring? If I am, I don't.
Is Patti supposed to feel slighted because I didn't put us into debt right before our wedding? Well, she certainly doesn't seem to be suffering any ill effects of not worrying about a credit balance with outrageous interest.
And don't even get me started on that whole "Every Kiss Begins with Kay" thing. I'm with Jonah on this one
Posted by: Tim Fitz at May 13, 2008 08:45 PM