February 12, 2005

CAN OF WORMS

I said last week that our Rear D is doing a stellar job. Well, I just hit a stupid snag that opened up a whole can of worms.

I have Red 6's car. And his car keys, house keys, and cell phone. I check on his apartment, I get his mail, I help arrange his vacation plans, and I even have made hotel reservations for one of his soldiers. Whatever, I'm a helpful girl. But I realized at the FRG meeting that I need to be notified when he arrives in Germany because he won't be able to tell me himself. Each wife gets a call roughly six hours before her husband gets home, but we only get notified when our husbands arrive, not when other planes of our battalion's soldiers get in. So I asked to get a phone call when Red 6 arrives, so I can welcome him home, give him his car, and let him into his house.

And I got a nasty look like I was arranging something lewd.

Look, I know there are some skanky men and women around here, but I'm not doing anything gross, and it kinda stung that that was the immediate reaction I got. Especially when the Rear D already knows that I have Red 6's car because I had to pick up his registration from them last spring. After the initial condescending look and hesitation, I reminded them that Red 6 has no way of getting home or getting into his house unless I am there for him, and they agreed to call me. I was a little taken aback, but whatever.

I mentioned this story to my husband yesterday, just as a "check out what happened to me" sort of deal, and he went ballistic. My husband is not a ballistic sort of person. He got so mad that Red 6's company was treating me bad when I was doing so much for their own soldiers, and he said he was going to do something about it. Oh crap.

So I got a message from Red 6 today that he had talked to the husband and was mad too, that he had talked to the First Sergeant and told him to ream the FRL, etc, etc, etc. So now I've gotten someone in trouble when that wasn't my intention at all. Sure, I was a little peeved that someone insinuated that I was being a whore, but that's not the first time our close relationship with Red 6 has brought me that sort of treatment. He's my husband's best friend. That makes him my best friend. And if you think I'm gonna have an affair with someone who thinks chugging tobasco is a smart move, you're off your rocker.

The sad thing is that our most recent battalion newsletter called for "designated huggers", for wives to volunteer to come to the ceremonies and welcome home single soldiers, not just their own husbands. I thought it was a great idea, and one darling wife had a t-shirt made that says Designated Hugger. But if the Rear D is going to treat us like hookers when we ask to be informed of single soldiers' arrivals, then what's the point of asking for huggers? It makes no sense to me. Either they trust us to show our soldiers respect and admiration, or they ask us not to come. But don't ask us to be huggers and then smirk at us when we roger that.

I help Red 6 and his soldiers because I want to show all soldiers that I love and appreciate them. They all deserve to have someone there to pick them up and buy them a beer. I hate that I got leered at when I asked to do our best friend a favor, but I also hate that I got someone in trouble, because I don't want to look like the officer's wife went and complained she was being treated badly. Ugh.

Posted by Sarah at February 12, 2005 04:06 PM
Comments

I, for one, would like to thank you profoundly for supporting the troops. As a former soldier, I know what it means to have that kind of support. It's a wonderful thing.

When I read this, it put me in mind of something that happened to me at Ft. Bliss. I was attached to a training brigade there for a short time and was having some trouble with the higher-ups in command. I won't go into the details, but the situation made my wife so mad that she took it upon herself to call the Secretary of the Army! And she actually got to speak with him! You can only imagine the look on my First Seargent's face when I had to tell him to be expecting a call the next morning. Not fun.

Posted by: Drew at February 12, 2005 04:21 PM

Don't hate that you might have gotten someone in trouble. Small minds like to assume that their 'moral superiority' gives them the right to question and 'spin' a perfectly innocent and legitimate request like yours. To say nothing of the fact that it's none 'o their damn business as to why you're asking to be notified. But I guess in the future, RED6 should probably clear all his personal arraignments thru the FRL so as not to cause them any discomfort as to what they think they know. I've served as a Family Readiness SNCO for a deployed unit and there is no excuse for the treatment that you've described. NONE-period.

Posted by: Top_S__USMC at February 12, 2005 05:47 PM

Perhaps you’re being too sensitive. After all, you did state: “I'm doing anything gross.” (Ha!)

Posted by: Bob at February 12, 2005 06:13 PM

Heh. Freudian slip fixed :)

Posted by: Sarah at February 13, 2005 02:57 AM

Sarah - you have a right to be angry about that type of treatment. Just remember - people project on you what they think of themselves...

I think it's great that you are so open and caring - it is because of people like you that men like Neal have something happy to return to - a caring friend.

Don't let the turkeys get you down. You did the right thing. You deserve more respec than they are giving you. Stand up for yourself. You are doing a good thing.

Posted by: Kathleen A at February 13, 2005 06:10 AM

"And if you think I'm gonna have an affair with someone who thinks chugging tobasco is a smart move, you're off your rocker."

ROTFL!

Posted by: Beth at February 13, 2005 06:14 AM

Funny... when not in your shoes of course.
Great that he is coming home.
Are you expecting the husband home soon too?
I remember that you weren't sure about that scheduled vacation :-)
Cheers,
Agnieszka
Denver, CO

Posted by: Agnieszka O. at February 13, 2005 06:40 AM

Sarah it's just like we always said in the Army.

F**k 'em if they can't take a joke.

You're doing good work. Keep doing it.

Posted by: David at February 14, 2005 04:45 AM