According to Garrison Keillor, the definition of a Republican is
...hairy-backed swamp developers and corporate shills, faith-based economists, see-through fundamentalist bullies with Bibles, Christians of convenience, freelance racists, hobby cops, misanthropic frat boys, lizardskin cigar monkeys, jerktown romeos, ninja dittoheads, the shrieking midgets of AM radio, tax cheats, cheese merchants, cat stranglers, taxi dancers, grab-ass executives, gun fetishists, genteel pornographers, pill pushers, chronic nappers, nihilists in golf pants, backed-up Baptists, Crips and Bloods of the boardroom...
Wow, those are some fun descriptions. Though try as I might, I just can't fit myself into any of those categories, despite the fact that I have met many cats that I would've liked to have strangled. If he added war cheerleaders and clueless fucktards, then I'd fit right in...
(Via Powerline)
Posted by Sarah at July 18, 2004 10:25 AMUnless someone will own up to having put LSD into Keillor's coffee, he should see his brain-care specialist at once!
Posted by: Francis W. Porretto at July 18, 2004 01:37 PMMaybe we aren't as divided as we think. I could name a Democrat that fits each of those descriptions! In fact, John Kerry is trying hard to be all of them this year!
Posted by: Mike at July 18, 2004 06:27 PMI'm a Republican. And I'm also an American of Mexican descent, a woman, a writer, with two degrees both in American and English Literature, a wife, an ex-liberal and ex-democrat.
Geez my list is less exotic than Keeler's, but much more honest, and I bet there are many more out there that fit my list rather than Keeler's stereotypical rant that use words to confuse and label rather than illuminate and define.
To a writer from a writer: never abuse the truth with words that attempt to sound like the truth, because when you do you reveal the soul of your pen and the ink becomes the blood that spills rather than keep the arteries of truth alive.
Posted by: Moor at July 18, 2004 10:51 PMKeillor is an ass. I refuse to listen to him on AFN on Sundays anymore.
Posted by: richard at July 19, 2004 06:32 AM:) Glad to see you recovering from the troll attack of a couple weeks ago... :D
Posted by: Princess Jami at July 20, 2004 10:46 PMI read recently that the difference between the Left and the Right is that the Right thinks that their opponents are mistaken, wrongheaded or unrealistic while the Left thinks their opponents are stupid, corrupt and evil. Keillor expresses that latter sentiment well, but he goes over the top. It feels as though he is desperate to prove something. Who's he trying to convince-- himself?
Posted by: Louis Wheeler at July 24, 2004 06:19 AMhttp://make.imoney555.com/8kbb/ pathspuffedwalked
Posted by: salty at July 25, 2005 02:17 AMhttp://coming.hollywoodtheater.org/raped-_-_-housewife/ assailanttrainuplifted
Posted by: overly at August 22, 2005 10:30 PMhttp://loandirect.m-moore.org/540135/ belongimaginationlent
Posted by: firstly at August 29, 2005 06:18 AM