March 10, 2009

THE SCHROEDINGER PHASE

Even though I talked about getting one last time, I never did. So I just went and bought this t-shirt. Because we're back to the freaking Schroedinger's cat phase of pregnancy.

I was talking to a friend earlier and I said that this is, oddly enough, the phase I don't mind so much. Because it's the phase I cannot control. There is nothing I can do to make a dead baby alive or an alive baby dead, so I just wait it out and see. I find this phase more comforting than the actual getting pregnant process, where I over-think everything and beat myself up wondering what else I could've done to maximize my chances that month.

Don't get me wrong: this Schroedinger phase is absurd. But it's the closest thing I have had to a "vacation" from thinking about fertility for the past 2+ years. Nothing I can do will change the outcome next week, so I just live for the next ten days and go from there.

Posted by Sarah at March 10, 2009 04:45 PM | TrackBack
Comments

Hang in there.

Posted by: David Boxenhorn at March 10, 2009 06:34 PM

I didn't expect your sense of humor to return so soon!

I know you face an uneasy, temporary peace ... but it is still peace ...

Posted by: Amritas at March 10, 2009 06:51 PM

I have nothing to say except that if I was closer, I would just show up with bad-for-you-snacks and hang on your couch. It's what I do with my sisters.

Posted by: Maggie at March 10, 2009 07:06 PM

Sarah,

Although I live in pani daily, I cannot begin to imagine the pain and anguish you are in. If I could, I would gladly shoulder your and Russ' burden. I can't though, the burden is yours to bear, and I can only offer hope and prayer for you, and lend an ear and share in your heartfelt joy, sadness, and frustration.

I really do wish I could help.

--Chuck

Posted by: Chuck at March 11, 2009 06:11 AM

I like this quote:

"What did you do to the cat? It looks half dead." -- Schroedinger's Wife

Posted by: Ted at March 11, 2009 11:19 AM