May 16, 2008

MY BRAIN IS MY OWN WORST ENEMY

Time is moving like molasses this morning.

I have to wait until noon again to get my bloodwork done. I hear the clock ticking in the silent house and I can't concentrate on anything else.

Will the numbers be high enough? Will they not? I thought I could handle another dead baby, since I've done it once before, but until yesterday I didn't realize just how devastating that would feel again.

I don't feel pregnant this morning. I feel like my body has already given up.

Last night I went out and bought baby clothes, just to try to feel normal.

I am going to the hospital and then I'm not coming home. My dear friend has invited Charlie and me to spend the night at her family's house. A sleepover of sorts. It seems so silly, but she insisted that I not be alone.

She loves Hot Fuzz; me too. Maybe we can watch.

Please don't let the baby be dead.

Posted by Sarah at May 16, 2008 11:29 AM | TrackBack
Comments

I am so glad that Claire is there. I really wanted to insist that you buy a plane ticket and come out here for a while and visit Erin and me.

My heart is with you. Please call anytime if you want to talk.

Posted by: Sis B at May 16, 2008 12:15 PM

I'm kind of jealous that you're sleeping with someone other than me, BUT I'm glad you have someone nearby to hang out with.

I'm crossing all kinds of things & sending up prayers that all will be well.

I wish I could be there to hold your hand and give you a gigundous hug.

You have my number.

Posted by: Guard Wife at May 16, 2008 12:51 PM

Hot Fuzz is a good one.

And you know - if you need anything you just have to tell me...

If the nurse gives you any more crap today, I'd be more than happy to drive down and pop her a good one in the nose.

Posted by: airforcewife at May 16, 2008 12:54 PM

I am hoping for good things for you. keeping my fingers and toes crossed.

LAW

Posted by: liberal army wife at May 16, 2008 01:39 PM

Loss for words...

many prayers this morning, I have lifted the 3 of you up on many...

You know where I am...

Wish I was closer...

Posted by: awtm at May 16, 2008 01:51 PM

I'm hoping for the best for you. Even though you won't be home I hope you'll let us know how it goes (they WILL get you the results TODAY, won't they?)
I think nurses sometimes forget what it's like to be a patient (or just don't care. Which is worse.)
And, I've done that before too. Going out & buying baby clothes. I guess I thought it would help. (help me feel better, or the baby "want" to stay, I'm not sure)
Good Luck.

Posted by: sharona at May 16, 2008 01:52 PM

Saying some prayers for you.

Posted by: Reasa at May 16, 2008 03:20 PM

Ditto what Sis B, Guard Wife and AWTM said.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers all weekend.

Posted by: FbL at May 16, 2008 08:48 PM

your in my thoughts. i am hoping for great results for you three.

Posted by: trying at May 17, 2008 07:40 AM