April 01, 2008

MIND GAMES

Do you remember that episode of House where all those people got sick on the airplane, and it turned out they were all psychosomatic? I completely believe in the power to think you're sick and the placebo effect. One thing I would love to see, which is a completely unethical experiment, is to give women positive pregnancy tests when they're not pregnant and see what symptoms they report. I would bet that most of them imagine themselves nauseated.

For over a year now, I have spent the final days of every month trying to guess whether I feel pregnant or not. All of a sudden, you notice every twitch and twinge in your body. There are pains in your abdomen you swear you've never felt before. You sit and wonder if you could throw up. And every month save one, all those symptoms I felt were imaginary. It's amazing what the mind can be tricked into thinking when you really want to be pregnant.

So I'm sitting here trying to fight back nausea that most likely only exists in my head. Mind over...mind? And then at the end of every month, I have this fight with myself because I get so annoyed that I fall for it every month. I berate myself for even entertaining the hope. Because when you start to feel the twinges and nausea, you start to imagine all the good stuff: taking a positive test, calling mom and dad, finally getting to use all the lovely things I got at my baby shower. And then it just hurts your heart even more when it turns out to all be in your head. It's a stupid cycle.

Posted by Sarah at April 1, 2008 07:52 AM | TrackBack
Comments

I swear I further ruined my eyesight by squinting at pregnancy tests trying to see the results. I always felt nauseated. Any ache or pain and my heart would soar.

When M1 actually set up residence, my boobs felt like hot, tingly water balloons & I was mad...I thought the massage therapist I'd seen had used some kind of oil on my neck that was making me have an allergic reaction. Since I'd given up any hope of anything, it didn't occur to me that it honestly could be THAT.

The mind has such an awesome power over our bodies...it's magical, but also kinda scary.

I'm not sure what I'm rambling about except to say--I feel you. {{Hugs}}

Posted by: Guard Wife at April 1, 2008 09:15 AM

I've been there, too. It sucks. Even had a pregnancy test that showed up positive immediately, and then the positive line disappeared. The manufacturer told me it was still a positive result but really all three tests in the box were defective. Just an awful feeling when my period finally showed up.

I think we all fall for it every month because it is so hard not to.

Posted by: Ann M. at April 1, 2008 12:04 PM

Before I found out my exhusband "forgot" to tell me he was fixed, I went through 3 false pregnancies. I agree 100% with you. It is AMAZING what our mind can do....

Posted by: Tammi at April 1, 2008 01:19 PM

It is also possible that your PMS hormones are causing nausea that is not in your mind. I used to get that when I knew I was not pregnant. I had tubal ligation with my last child, yet I had many of the symptoms you are describing. The doctor said it was only hormones. Duh!

Posted by: Ruth H at April 1, 2008 02:53 PM

I agree with Ruth H. I could never use symptoms to tell whether I was pregnant or not I got all the symptoms during PMS, though on a smaller scale. I could *suspect* pregnancy if my boobs felt extra tender (like I'd been kicked by a mule), but I wouldn't take it seriously until I had a positive test. Even my temperature could be tricky. I have long cycles, and I could go forty days and have a few symptoms (going to the bathroom all the time, mainly) and then my temp would drop and I'd have my period. I decided that was a miscarriage chemical or mental, I'd never know. I was too chicken to take a test to confirm it.

Posted by: deltasierra at April 1, 2008 04:09 PM

Just hang in there. One of these days it won't all be in your head.

Posted by: sharona at April 1, 2008 08:00 PM

That is so funny!

I have had a problem of too much spit in a couple of my pregnancies. I'm sure you wanted to know that. Anywho...

Back in January, just after my dh deployed I suddenly started to worry that I was pregnant....and I started to wonder if I had the regular amount of saliva or if I had too much... The more I worried about it, the more saliva I seemed to have.

I took a pregnancy test. It was negative, but I didn't believe it and still analyzed my spit until my . started. Then my spit magically went back to normal.

I am losing it!

Posted by: wendy's tiki hut at April 3, 2008 05:33 AM