Our extra two and a half weeks of deployment have gone fairly quickly. I was sick for the first week and then I was getting emotionally beaten by 7th graders for the second, so I haven't really had time to feel lonely. I am, however, a tad disgruntled that my husband's tardy arrival will make us unable to attend Red 6's wedding as we had originally planned: reintegration activities are a poor substitute for being by our best friend's side as he marries, but I just have to let that disappointment go.
So the countdown for Return of the Husband is small enough to be counted on one hand. Hmm.
In a way, I feel a tiny bit nervous, to be honest. I can't quite put my finger on why. It will be a big change for both of us to be living together again after 13 months apart. He's gotten used to an enormous amount of sharing; I have shared virtually nothing for a year. He's been sleeping on a cot; I've been taking up the whole bed. He's been eating sub-standard food; I've been eating water chestnuts and carrot cake and all the delicious things that make him yak. My life has been so easy, and his has not.
I talked to The Girl the other night, and she told me how sorry she was that I had to wait so much longer than everyone else to get my husband home. I said that the real pity lies with the soldiers, that they have not done a single thing since 18 February and that I feel just awful that they're stuck so far from home. She laughed and said it was nice that I was thinking of the soldiers and not of myself, but how on earth can I complain about my feelings in comparison? Though I have complained this year about grading too many papers and getting paid too little, my life is a walk in the park. I know this. I couldn't possibly live with myself if I didn't acknowledge and respect how difficult my husband's life has been this year.
My husband is my favorite person in the whole world, so I can't figure out where the nerves are coming from. Perhaps I'm worried about wifeing him to death. Perhaps it just seems to good to be true that he'll be home in a few days. I don't know what it is that is making me so freaked out that this week has finally come.
Actually, I know what it is. It's the thought that I will have to leave him the day after he gets home and go wrestle with a bunch of 12 year olds. That's enough to make me sick to my stomach.
Posted by Sarah at March 5, 2005 10:02 PMI can remember when my boyfriend went to the field for a month for training, and in that time we had little to no contact...less than we have now. And I can remember being incredibly nervous when I saw him again...and after about 15 minutes I turned to him and knowing he felt the same, said: "wow...how is it going to be after a WHOLE year?"
But I think the most important thing is always to expect and realize that some things are going to be different - you both have one year of experiences that have changed you and the other person wasn't there for those changes. But mostly it will be the same...I also remember how exciting those first few months of our relationship were, and think that when he redeploys it will be a little reminiscent of that!