May 09, 2004


For a while now, I've wanted to describe our post chapel's stained glass window to my mom. Today Stars and Stripes has an article about SPC Kondor's memorial here on post, and there's a photo of our touching stained glass windows.

Right before the guys left, we attended our neighbor's baptism. At the end of the mass, the priest called up all of the soldiers who would be leaving for Iraq that week. He blessed them all and gave them an Army coin to keep with them.

I don't think I'll ever forget that long row of men standing under the stained glass window.

For so long, I've been really strong. I have statistics on my side, I support the mission, and I know that thousands of soldiers come home just fine. But lately I can't seem to shake the feeling of fear. We lost SPC Kondor two weeks ago. We lost four more soldiers on Wednesday. If our post is losing at least one soldier per week, I fear that it's only a matter of time before it catches up to me, in one way or another.

I just feel really uneasy lately.

Posted by Sarah at May 9, 2004 08:43 AM

Get some positive thoughts in that head! Bad brain waves carry over long distance. Find a few photos that make you feel good, and sit down with a cup of coffee or tea and smile. The goal of our wonderful media is to make you feel just like you describe. Non bastardi caburundum est is, I think, the proper Latin phrase (Help me out here, Marc!).

Posted by: Mike at May 9, 2004 12:32 PM

I totally understand. I play the numbers game sometimes - sometimes it helps, sometimes not so much. Thankfully we humans aren't too good at sustained intense feelings of any kind and the panic and despair pass. And thank God for the internet that lets us hear from our loved ones over there faster than ever.

Posted by: Beth at May 9, 2004 07:32 PM

Sarah, I can't blame you for having some really down thoughts. If there were anything I could do to help you I would. I'm sitting down here in South Texas reading the news, not nearly as close personally as you are and I get discouraged. I cannot imagine how you must feel.All I can say is the odds are against it happening to you. I also want you to know that just as happy thoughts don't make happy thoughts real, sad and scary thoughts don't make your worst fears real either. DO NOT feel guilty for being scared and discouraged at times, you are only human going through some really stressful times. My best to you.

Posted by: Ruth H at May 9, 2004 10:34 PM


The phrase you're looking for has a lot of variants, but they're all pseudo-Latin with or without a bit of English influence (e.g., a b@st@rd-like word). This page has attempts at a real Latin version which are quite different from any of the familiar ones:

Posted by: Amritas at May 10, 2004 05:54 PM