March 07, 2004

SNAILS, INDEED

In an age where we can take a photograph on a cell phone and mail it to a friend instantly, I'm getting frustrated with not being able to contact my husband. I'm printing out these letters I've been writing for him, and they're long and outdated. When one letter spans a month, it's hard to stay relevant and interesting. Oh look, Ralph Nader's running. Oh wait, you already know that by now. Um, how 'bout I tell you how much soup I have left over. What's that? You managed to read my blog in Kuwait? OK, I have nothing interesting to say that will still sound good when you read my letter in three weeks.

Posted by Sarah at March 7, 2004 02:08 PM
Comments

I found myself facing the same dilemma over the past year. The friend I was writing had random access to phones, and email, and occasionally snailmail, and letters would take anywhere between two weeks and three months to arrive. In chronological order didn't happen, in short.

I ended up spending a lot of time writing about the little things; the weather, small side trips, how mutual friends (and people he'd never met) were doing. Trying, in short, to keep him in the loop. When he comes back he will have read all about who my new colleagues are, and how the trees in the backyard are finally beginning to bud. (Soon. I'm fed up with winter.)

It's not the big stuff. Oh, I ended up writing about things very important to me, too. But the little stuff reminded him that there were friends back home.

I sent a letter out every week. Postage would be crippling if I hadn't, but it also gave the best odds of his getting a regular letter. (Never happened; they always arrived in bunches. But ... )

But to distill the above down, I suppose, write. About what you feel like writing about. There's nothing quite like opening a letter, knowing it was written just for you.

Posted by: Eowyn at March 7, 2004 04:59 PM

When he finally gets the letters, they are something he can carry around with him and read often. That is very important to a guy on the road. That way, he is touching you and you are touching him.

Write the day-to-day stuff, and the personal stuff, and get them in the mail. He'll keep up with many of your doings right here, but even the mundane is important in a letter because it is portable.

Posted by: Mike at March 7, 2004 06:39 PM

I know! I know! But I understand comunication will be eaiser when he reaches his camp. J just reached his and fired off an email, what a pleasure. Just keep writing. Find one time a day to do it, like at work, or on lunch. I use letters for details. When we get to talk, it's like an overview, and then all the details are in the letters so that he can read at his leisure whenever he gets them. The important thing is just to find ways of staying connected. I agree though, that the technology should be there already. Speaking of, I can't get my call forwarding to work yet. I'm taking my phone manual to a German friend tommorow for translation. Nonsense. Stay strong.

Posted by: Heather at March 7, 2004 07:09 PM

I agree with Eowyn and Mike. Just free flow and write about the little every day stuff (that you don't necessarily put in your blog). My husband always told me that getting a letter from me (when he was deployed) would be the highlight of his week! (Blush). My sister back in the States (when I was in Germany) told me years later that my entire family would savor my letters from Germany. It made them feel so special that I was putting words to paper, just for them. In this age of email and blogs, don't underestimate the power of your written words on paper to your husband (and other loved ones.) It's very important to them, so I was told.

Posted by: Tracey at March 8, 2004 05:56 AM